the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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