Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
