Don't you send me to vm
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
