I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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