So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize