please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
