You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
where are my eyebrows?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize