He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
