the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just google imaged poop.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
