He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
