I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
