You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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