I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
