i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
