He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
