I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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