you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
