i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
