Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
