idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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