Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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