There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
