my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
