I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
did i just pee glitter
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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