i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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