all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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