are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
