3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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