The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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