I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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