but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
