My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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