my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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