Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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