Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
