lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
