I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
