i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
