She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my being single is dangerous.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
