you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
