Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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