Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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