it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
