new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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