so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
