quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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