i just had sex bonerless
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
