yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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