she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
false alarm. still invincible.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize