you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
