Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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(503): View more from Oregon

He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Marry him

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(209): View more from California

I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.

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(334): View more from Alabama

God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

At least you have booty calls.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china

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(408): View more from California

i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track

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(361): View more from Texas

I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?

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