I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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