all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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