He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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