Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
