I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
