hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
