Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
