i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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