she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
