To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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