Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
