Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
